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Below Deck Mediterranean Season 5 Premiere Recap - Vulture

Below Deck Mediterranean Season 5 Premiere Recap - Vulture

Below Deck Mediterranean Season 5 Premiere Recap - Vulture
Jun 02, 2020 2 mins, 12 secs

So we’re on a new boat, but with Captain Sandy and chief stew Hannah back in their positions, it’s shaping up to be another season of the same Below Deck: Mediterranean we know and love.

Last season left Hannah and Sandy contemplating Hannah’s future in yachting as a chief stew who enjoys pouring drinks for the almost-superrich, but not making Pinterest-perfect tables.

With Kate Chastain not returning to Captain Lee’s Below Deck crew next season, Hannah is this franchise’s biggest constant, and a fine Bravolebrity at that.

There’s Pete, one (1) self-proclaimed “total unit” who’s worked on deck crew for ten years, even as a captain.

There’s Lara, her Italian second stew who’s worked in yachts for seven years (even as chief stew), who she worries will challenge her authority like Bugsy in season two.

After last season saw the Sirocco cycle through three chefs — unqualified steak-licker Mila, third stew Anastasia, and fan favorite Ben — Sandy is extra wary.

Work microaggressions aside, at least someone’s a fan of Lara, who’s already gotten on Hannah’s bad side before the first charter.

At the stew meeting, Hannah explains that the crew will need to impress the guests (or rather, Captain Sandy) with table-décor creativity — at which Lara fake-stabs her heart, because creativity isn’t really her thing.

Hannah says she shouldn’t have done that in front of her; Lara says Hannah doesn’t have a sense of humor.

Lara comes to clear things up in person, telling Hannah she thought she asked, “Did you see the beer?” when Hannah claims she asked, “Did the beer come?” “You can read it both ways,” our uncreative second stew explains.

Before dinner, Hannah tells Lara that Jessica (whom Hannah has now armed with cocktail cheat sheets) will be on service while she’ll be on cabins.

Hannah reminds Lara that she and Jessica said they wanted to rotate responsibilities, while a flashback reminded us that Hannah told them they’d be rotating.

Hannah hasn’t demoted Lara, she reasons, she’s just switched her with Jessica.

But if Jessica is third stew, doesn’t that mean …?

Hannah wants Lara to acknowledge her when she asks her to do something, but Lara says she doesn’t have time to argue.

When Jessica and Rob take a cigarette break together the night before the first charter, she tells Rob their babies will have blue eyes.

We also find out they both now have boyfriends, meaning Malia is really out of the boatmance picture this season and Hannah doesn’t have to worry about dying alone.

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