Nickelodeon Star Jennette McCurdy's Memoir Isn't a Juicy Child Star Tell-All. It's Better. - The Daily Beast

What I’m Glad My Mom Died focuses on is the backstory of that title.

McCurdy isn’t relieved that her mother died of stage-four breast cancer for Nickelodeon-related reasons; her mother was the one who pushed her into acting, but that wasn’t the cause of their co-dependent, toxic relationship.

Jennette McCurdy and Ariana Grande at the UK premiere of Sam & Cat.

Most evocative, for better or often-times worse, are the vignettes in which McCurdy describes her eating disorders.

McCurdy writes in detail about her mother’s designs on keeping her daughter life-threateningly thin: She’s 11 when she starts restricting her calories, at her mom’s behest.

Specifics on how much weight McCurdy was losing, what she was eating to lose that weight, what size clothing she wore, and, later, what she was binge-eating, and how she made herself throw it up are all difficult to get through.

But it’s clear that the treatment McCurdy received for her trauma and eating disorders, which involve holding yourself accountable for the specific things you have done, or processing in detail what’s been done to you, have informed how she’s written this book.

Jennette McCurdy with mother in 2009.

Both women’s eating disorders are so fierce that, when her mother is on her deathbed, they’re both still so fixated on weight and calories.

After she dies, when McCurdy is 21, she spirals into bulimic and alcoholic behaviors; she throws up until her throat bleeds, as a response to the mere suggestion that her mother was abusive.

But you will get an exhaustive account of how eating disorders fester under the supportive eye of a fucked-up parent

You will totally understand why she’s glad her mom died, even if you can never understand that feeling yourself

You will fall back in love with Jennette McCurdy: She’s talented, brave, darkly funny, and incredibly strong