I caught my teen son having sex and overreacted, and more care and feeding advice - Slate

I told my son he cannot have sex in my house and we attempted to discuss protection (which he was using), STDs, pregnancy, and abortion but he was so upset at having to discuss it with me that he walked off. I didn’t have a chance to let him and his girlfriend know I would be talking to her parents about the incident. I texted my son after I spoke to the girl’s parents..

My son went ballistic that I told his girlfriend’s parents what happened. My son said it’s none of their business and that everyone is having sex. I have two questions: 1) Should I have told her parents? If she were my daughter or son, I would want to know if my children were having sex so I could have additional conversations with them. 2) My son asked if he can’t have sex at the house and doesn’t have a driver’s license, where should he have sex and I didn’t know how to answer. .

It isn’t for me to determine if you were right or wrong for contacting your son’s girlfriend’s parents; there is a good case to be made for telling them (as you mentioned, many parents would want to be able to talk to their kids about safety) and one for keeping it to yourself (there are parents, particularly of girls, who can be very heavy-handed in their judgment regarding sex and there are kids who could be made vulnerable to mistreatment if found out).

Let your son know that you only wanted to give his girlfriend’s parents the opportunity to talk to her that you would want if the tables were turned.

Parents have no obligation to facilitate teen sex and if you don’t want him doing it at your house, then he’s just stuck and out of luck.

He doesn’t have an apartment of his own, he doesn’t have a car… Sounds like he’s going to have to get creative, which is his business insofar as he doesn’t get caught, or he’s going to have to wait.