My close friend is a therapist but all she does is complain. Should I exit this relationship? | Leading questions

We live in different countries and speak regularly, and every time I talk to her all she does is complain about her life and paint herself as the victim.

I also recognise that I need to accept she doesn’t want help, but I find it very difficult to have a person like this in my life now.

But (as you know from your professional training) other times people become negative, self-victimising or misanthropic because things really aren’t OK.

It’s like how you can tolerate a particular sound when you’re having a good day but if you’re frustrated, in a hurry, or it’s been going on too long, that very same noise becomes totally unbearable.

Privacy Notice: Newsletters may contain info about charities, online ads, and content funded by outside parties.

Eleanor Gordon-Smith will help you think through life’s questions and puzzles, big and small.